|Cartoon by Steve Sack Star Tribune Jul 23, 2019
“We chose these words carefully, and the words speak for itself. The report is my testimony.”
“I’m just going to leave it as it appears in the report.”
Among so many rapid-fired questions
The only obvious thing
is Mueller would prefer to refer us to the Mueller Report.
We are of three branches, broken
Like a felled tree
In which there caws the Mueller Report.
The Mueller Report spun in the extreme heat and tornados.
(no small part of climate change—but who cares?)
A president and an attorney general
A Robert Mueller Testimony and a Robert Mueller Report
No one knew which parts to read first
The parts on collusion
Or the parts on obstruction
The Mueller Report in its entirety
Or just the CliffsNoted testimony.
after the barbaric wait.
Whole sections of The Mueller Report
deduced in skittled sentence fragments
An impeachable case?
O dim subjects of T***pworld,
Why do you dream of singing canaries?
Do you not see how the Mueller Report
Hops all over you?
I know the difference
between careful words and testimony;
But I know, too,
That the Mueller Report is involved
In what I know.
When Mueller flew the coop
It marked the end
Of many chattering hopes.
At the thought of The Mueller Report
steaming on a platter,
the frenzied mobs readied their forks.
Would they eat crow?
The president rode over Washington
In a military parade.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that he mistook
The shadow of his leaked Access Hollywood tape
For the Mueller Report.
The President and his cronies are celebrating.
The Mueller Report must be flying south.
We’ve been waiting all year.
They are snowing us.
And we are going to be snowed.
The Mueller Report flapped
For 400 pages. Then nose-dived
A cooked goose
A raven cawing Never More.
Elizabeth Johnston Ambrose's work appears in The Atlantic, McSweeney's, TheNewVerse.News, The Weekly Humorist, The Satirist, The Belladonna, and many others. She lives in Rochester, NY and is a founding member of Straw Mat Writers. Twitter: @libbyjohnston74