"I thought we were fighting for God.
Then I realized we were fighting for wealth and land."
--from the motion picture "Kingdom of Heaven" (quoted in _The New Yorker_, May 9, 2005)
Slumped,
I mimic your hate.
I am capable of this.
I am a fish
eating fish.
No regrets.
I am a flying fish,
hitting and slapping,
breaking you down and
breaking myself into pieces.
These are my bloodiest days.
They say forgiveness cleanses the soul.
I cannot cleanse myself.
I will not cleanse myself.
You are my launching platform of revenge.
Where is God? You say He is with you.
They say He is with them. I know He is with me.
Well, who is He with? Who does He love?
What color of animal does He favor?
What texture of hair is He partial to?
How does He measure our cultures?
Does He love Islam more than Judaism
and Sikhism more than Animism?
Does He love Hinduism more than Christianity?
I am only a flying fish,
hitting and slapping,
breaking you down and
breaking myself into pieces.
In the name of God,
we have the right to torture with skin-bullets
and to decapitate with our blood-battalions
and to instill the act of taking one’s own life.
I mimic your hate.
I am capable of this.
I am a fish
eating fish.
Maybe God wears a buffalo robe
and sadly watches us from a horse
as we demolish one another.
Mary Hamrick was born in New York and moved to Florida when she was a young girl. Her writing often reflects the contrast between her Northern and Southern upbringing. Current and forthcoming publications include Arabesques Press, Architecture Ink, Cezanne’s Carrot, Howling Dog Press (OMEGA 6), On the Page Magazine, Pemmican, Poetry Repair Shop, Poems Niederngasse, Potomac Review, Scrivener’s Pen, Tattoo Highway, The Barricade, The Binnacle, The Subway Chronicles and others.