by Chris Vierck
If you ever commit a crime
don't worry, you'll never pay
not a penny,
not a nickel,
nary so much as a solitary dime;
here's how you budding cowboys
can break the law and still go free...free...free.
First, get yourself a conservative badge
and then we'll do the rest: we'll nail a pair of scooter skates
directly
to the souls of your feet.
You must know we're always happy to go to prison....
and throw open the doors!
Hooray, hooray, hooray! Oh, how you'll fly!
Hooray, hooray, hooray! Oh, how you'll soar!
(And step all over everybody else screaming
FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER, FACE TO THE FLOOR!)
Oh, the laws you can break with scooter skates!
Come on now y'all, you should give them a try!
Oh the heavens you'll grace with scooter skates,
Places like the White House where US laws... never apply.
Hey, I know something we can do while we're there!
Let's rape the constitution, and burn the Geneva convention!
Who needs those uselss things? Those hideous inventions!
Now I don't want to alarm anybody, that's clearly not my intent.
Laws, my dear friend are deathly important! Yes sir, YES SIR!!!!
We're conservatives, true believers in law and order---
for degenerates
like those dirty
rotten
wall scaling lepers
who hail from south of the border!
Chris Vierck is a poet who lives and write in North Carolina.