MONTEREY, Calif. –Jumbo squid that can grow up to 7 feet long and weigh more than 110 pounds are invading central California waters and preying on local anchovy, hake and other commercial fish populations, according to a study published Tuesday.
– Associated Press, July 25th, 2007
Having mopped up the local anchovy and hake,
The jumbo squid are ticked off and turning
Their attention to California’s human flakes.
(Suddenly, my ears are burning!)
They’re objecting to old sea monster flicks,
Prop 13, the border fence …
Worst of all, our taste for fish sticks
Provokes their inky incontinence.
It won’t be long before they conclude
That, be it billionaire or beggar,
The human critter’s swell fast food.
(They want a piece of Schwarzenegger.)
And when they do, we’ll have to coax
Them to Lotusland, where sushi bars
Abound and, if you’ll stop making jokes,
We’ll audition them for Fishing With the Stars.
With that, we’ll have them in our power!
Then, we can razz them about their flab
Until we send them to the showers
With Paris and Lindsay in rehab!
Robert Dunn is the editor of the soon-to-be-released journal, Asbestos; former Editor of Medicinal Purposes Literary Review, the erstwhile host of the Poet to Poet cable television show, and has appeared in such publications as Krax, Imago, Mobius, Art Times, Rattapallax, Nomad’s Choir, Critical Perspectives in Accounting, and Pegasus. His full-length collections of poetry include Zen Yentas in Bondage, Guilty as Charged, Cannon Fodder (Cross-Cultural Literary Editions), Playing in Traffic (Founders Hill Press), Sunspot Boulevard (Xlibris), and Horse Latitudes (iUniverse.com).