Pet girl kicked off bus for wearing leash. —Reuters, 23 Jan. 2008
Come live with me, and be my pet.
Think of all the stroking you’ll get.
Wear a collar, like a collie;
Be my lap dog and my dolly.
Show the gang that you’re contented
To be my pet, you’ve consented.
Come live with me, and be my pet:
Jewels and spankings you will get.
On your leash you will learn to heel,
When to turn and whether to wheel,
How to roll over and how to fetch,
When to trot on all fours, my bitch.
I’ll chuck your chin and pat your head;
I’ll even teach you to play dead.
Come live with me, and play the pet;
It’s the best offer you will get.
George Held has previously contributed to The New Verse News. His latest poetry collection is The Art of Writing and Others (www.finishinglinepress.com, 2007).