Thursday, December 01, 2011

NEWT GINGRICH EXPLAINS HIS ADULTERY

by Chris O’Carroll


Because I was hot for my country,
I couldn’t stay true to my wife.
My private parts throb with a passion
That’s engendered by my public life.

The vows I have made as a husband,
Like those I have made as a pol,
Go limp when my patriot fervor
Is aroused to stand rampant and tall.

My record is full of betrayals,
Backtracking, and words that are weaselly,
But my God is forgiving, and voters
Are rubes.  I can hustle them easily.


Chris O’Carroll is a writer, an actor, and a stand-up comedian.  His poems have appeared in Barefoot Muse, Folly, Light Quarterly, Literary Review, Umbrella, and other print and online journals.  He has performed on stages in more than half of the 50 states.
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