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“If he groped her, she’s a liar."
"If he didn’t, she’s a frump.”
“If she blabs, he’ll call his lawyer.”
“What a bozo! One no trump.”
“Thinks he’s smart to pay no taxes:
‘If you pay them, you’re a chump.’”
“He’ll give safety nets the ax.” “As
well as poor folks!” “Three no trump.”
“He’ll wall off the southern border.”
“And haul Muslims to the dump!”
“He’ll show blacks what law and order
really stands for.” “Four no trump.”
“He’ll throw Clinton in the slammer.”
“Then he’ll lift us from our slump,
helped by Putin’s blade and hammer!”
“What’s your bid now?” “Six no trump.”
Susan McLean is an English professor at Southwest Minnesota State University. Her books of poetry are The Best Disguise and The Whetstone Misses the Knife. She has also translated over 500 satirical poems of the Latin poet Martial, published as Selected Epigrams by the University of Wisconsin Press. Her light verse has often appeared in Light and Lighten Up Online.