by Akua Lezli Hope
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| Sonya Massey (above) ducked and apologized to an Illinois sheriff’s deputy seconds before he shot the Black woman three times in her home, with one fatal blow to the head, as seen in body camera video released Monday. An Illinois grand jury indicted former Sangamon County Sheriff’s Deputy Sean Grayson, 30, who is white, last week. He has pleaded not guilty to charges of first-degree murder, aggravated battery with a firearm and official misconduct. —AP, July 23, 2024 |
Because I am disabled, black and female in an under-resourced part of the world
Because I have called for help in the past and got harm
Because in a recent need for assistance I wept to 911 confessing my fear
Because Sonya Massey said on meeting the cop at her front door, “Don’t Hurt Me”
Because I saw her neat yard, glimpsed flowers, the vacuum cleaner in her kitchen, her robe over t-shirt and pj pants, her slippers, her neatly wrapped head
Because someone prowled around her white house, like mine, and cops found
a black SUV with busted out windows next door
Because she was right to call and wronged
Because I saw her shot to death in her kitchen after apologizing, “I’m Sorry” on PBS
Because I couldn’t weep again and again and again but I haven’t slept for days
Because some of you will see this as anomalous, I testify that it is not
Because I am not dead from my bad encounters, only wounded and afraid
Because my friends rescued me
Because I live in a small town and don’t know how those chosen to police were chosen
Because there were all these red flags
Because, for those like me, asking for help is playing Russian Roulette
Because I never know if there’s a bullet in the chamber and if it’s pointed at my head
Akua Lezli Hope is a creator and wisdom seeker who uses sound, words, fiber, glass, metal, and wire to create poems, patterns, stories, music, sculpture, and peace. A paraplegic, third-generation New Yorker, her honors include the NEA, two NYFAs, NYSCA, SFPA, Elgin, & Best of the Net, Rhysling & Pushcart Prize nominations. Editor of NOMBONO, the first BIPOC speculative poetry anthology, she seeks work for a new anthology of disability themed speculative poetry at disabilitypoetics.com.
Because I have called for help in the past and got harm
Because in a recent need for assistance I wept to 911 confessing my fear
Because Sonya Massey said on meeting the cop at her front door, “Don’t Hurt Me”
Because I saw her neat yard, glimpsed flowers, the vacuum cleaner in her kitchen, her robe over t-shirt and pj pants, her slippers, her neatly wrapped head
Because someone prowled around her white house, like mine, and cops found
a black SUV with busted out windows next door
Because she was right to call and wronged
Because I saw her shot to death in her kitchen after apologizing, “I’m Sorry” on PBS
Because I couldn’t weep again and again and again but I haven’t slept for days
Because some of you will see this as anomalous, I testify that it is not
Because I am not dead from my bad encounters, only wounded and afraid
Because my friends rescued me
Because I live in a small town and don’t know how those chosen to police were chosen
Because there were all these red flags
Because, for those like me, asking for help is playing Russian Roulette
Because I never know if there’s a bullet in the chamber and if it’s pointed at my head
Akua Lezli Hope is a creator and wisdom seeker who uses sound, words, fiber, glass, metal, and wire to create poems, patterns, stories, music, sculpture, and peace. A paraplegic, third-generation New Yorker, her honors include the NEA, two NYFAs, NYSCA, SFPA, Elgin, & Best of the Net, Rhysling & Pushcart Prize nominations. Editor of NOMBONO, the first BIPOC speculative poetry anthology, she seeks work for a new anthology of disability themed speculative poetry at disabilitypoetics.com.