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| The White House released a new version of President Trump's official portrait on June 2, 2025. |
Ah yes, the look of a leader—
if your idea of leadership
comes from reality TV reruns
and late-night Twitter storms.
Behold, the squint of gravitas,
or maybe just squinting
because truth is blinding.
The hair—a masterpiece of engineering,
suspended like disbelief,
defying physics and sincerity alike.
That suit? Tailored to say “power,”
but mostly says,
“Does this blue make me look important?”
The flag pin, a delicate touch—
as if it might distract from the fact
that this is more wax museum
than White House.
He stares, not with wisdom,
but with the intensity of someone
trying to remember
where he left his talking points.
Yes, this is a portrait of a man
who believes looking serious
is the same as being serious.
Presidential?
Sure, in the same way
wearing a goofy hat
makes you royalty.