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AI-generated graphic by NightCafé for The New Verse News. |
I don’t care if Lincoln’s nose fell off!
It’s not getting fixed until it’s renamed
the Trump Lincoln Memorial.
And if that damn obelisk cracks again,
it’s not getting another head job until it’s renamed
the Trump Washington Monument.
And build it bigger because mine is bigger.
And the Iwo Jima Memorial—
my hand should be at the top of the flagpole.
Hey, ever see the statue in Trump Jefferson Memorial?
Tom looks like a fairy with that hair.
(They say Sally Hemings was a total hoax.)
Send my stylist, colorist too.
That Vietnam Veteran Memorial
is never getting polished again
until my name is on it. You know,
I was itching to fight, but they
said my heel had bone spurs.
And what the fuck is that Korean War…thing?
Losers in ponchos marching in the rain?
Nobody remembers Korea.
Give it to Kim Jung Il.
Now. The Vietnam Girls Veteran Memorial.
Put my face on the wounded soldier,
and make it the nurse’s hand on my crotch, not my own.
Christ! Masturbating in public is unpresidential.
Hey, hurry up with my arch
before the Supreme Court catches up!
Pegi Deitz Shea is a two-time winner of the Connecticut Book Award and the President of the CT Council of Poets Laureate. Her new book TiCK TiCK TiCK TiCK is a humorous hybrid of poetry and prose inspired by the author’s ongoing 28+ years of hell with Lyme disease. Her forthcoming novel-in-verse Uncharted: The Odyssey of Jeanne Barret, the First Woman to Circumnavigate the World is due out next month.