by Chad Frame
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| Authorities in northern Idaho are leaving open the possibility for more criminal charges against 31 white nationalists accused of planning to riot at a weekend Pride festival. Members of a group known as Patriot Front face misdemeanor charges of conspiracy to start a riot. —NPR, June 14, 2022 |
and it was tacky. So, you want to send
a message to the gays? Don't do it dressed
like you're about to solicit us all
to open Best Buy credit cards. Don't rent
a gas-guzzling, garish orange U-Haul
and blare Skynyrd out the rolled-down windows
on the Interstate (I want to say I-
eighty something—which, by the way, is how
old you look. Do you even moisturize?)
Okay, we get it—you hate us. Still want
to get your point across? Let's start with names.
No gay will ever repent at the sound
of the name Patriot Front. How about
Patriot Daddy? Patriot Power
Top? Or Patriot You've Been a Naughty
Prideful Little Piggy and Here We Are
to Set You Straight? Now we're getting somewhere.
Now, let's talk about that slogan—Reclaim
America. We already did that
at Stonewall, remember? That is so June
1969. You'll need something fresh,
catchy—a real earworm. Might I suggest
Hey, Girl, That Look's Fire, and We Mean Hellfire?
Or consider Stop Trying to Make Fetch
and Your Alternative Lifestyles Happen.
Look, I don't know. Workshop it a little.
Christ. Do I have to do everything?
Chad Frame is the author of Little Black Book (Finishing Line Press, 2022), Director of the Montgomery County Poet Laureate Program, and Poet Laureate Emeritus of Montgomery County, PA, a founding member of the No River Twice poetry improv and performance troupe, Poetry Editor of Ovunque Siamo, and founder of the Caesura Poetry Festival and Retreat. His work appears in Rattle, Pedestal, Barrelhouse, and elsewhere, is available on iTunes, and was sent to the moon.