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Sunday, June 19, 2022

BIGOTS SHOWED UP TO PRIDE WEARING KHAKIS

by Chad Frame


Authorities in northern Idaho are leaving open the possibility for more criminal charges against 31 white nationalists accused of planning to riot at a weekend Pride festival. Members of a group known as Patriot Front face misdemeanor charges of conspiracy to start a riot. —NPR, June 14, 2022


and it was tacky. So, you want to send 
a message to the gays? Don't do it dressed
like you're about to solicit us all 

to open Best Buy credit cards. Don't rent 
a gas-guzzling, garish orange U-Haul 
and blare Skynyrd out the rolled-down windows

on the Interstate (I want to say I-
eighty something—which, by the way, is how 
old you look. Do you even moisturize?) 

Okay, we get it—you hate us. Still want
to get your point across? Let's start with names. 
No gay will ever repent at the sound

of the name Patriot Front. How about
Patriot Daddy? Patriot Power 
Top? Or Patriot You've Been a Naughty

Prideful Little Piggy and Here We Are 
to Set You Straight? Now we're getting somewhere.
Now, let's talk about that slogan—Reclaim 

America. We already did that 
at Stonewall, remember? That is so June
1969. You'll need something fresh, 

catchy—a real earworm. Might I suggest
Hey, Girl, That Look's Fire, and We Mean Hellfire?
Or consider Stop Trying to Make Fetch 

and Your Alternative Lifestyles Happen
Look, I don't know. Workshop it a little.
Christ. Do I have to do everything?


Chad Frame is the author of Little Black Book (Finishing Line Press, 2022), Director of the Montgomery County Poet Laureate Program, and Poet Laureate Emeritus of Montgomery County, PA, a founding member of the No River Twice poetry improv and performance troupe, Poetry Editor of Ovunque Siamo, and founder of the Caesura Poetry Festival and Retreat. His work appears in Rattle, Pedestal, Barrelhouse, and elsewhere, is available on iTunes, and was sent to the moon.