by Shaindel Beers
Stephen-in-your-cell, would you forgive me
if from now on, I promise to be brave?
When I picture you alone—and lonely
I wonder how I could have been so weak
to have gone home the first time I was asked.
Protesters should be made of stronger stuff.
Lately things have made me question the stuff
I’m made of. What is it that makes me me ?
Would I give my life for a cause, if asked?
What is it within us that makes us brave
or, in my case and many others’, weak?
And is it true that the strong die lonely
since those who stand for something stand alone?
I wonder what you think of all the stuff
in letters from all of us outside, weak-willed
well-wishers sending thanks, signing meekly
in shaky script, supporting your bravery
from the comfort of our homes. When asked
to protest the war, I failed. One guard asked
me to stop leafleting—so all alone
I put the flyers in my car (such brave
work here) and rewarded myself by stuff-
ing my face with soy burger and fries. My
spirit was lifted—good deed for the week
accomplished. I wasn’t faced with my weakness
until the next day when I was asked
about the protest, how it went, and my
stammered answer made me feel so alone
in a world of heroes who’ve done great stuff
and deserve to live in this “home of the brave.”
Stephen, from your story, I’ve learned bravery.
I’ve resolved never again to be weak
when it comes to things that matter, the stuff
of life and death. If someday someone asks
you was it worth it? know you’re not alone
anymore, because you’ve proven to me
and others that if asked, we can be brave,
that our weakness is not made of different stuff
than courage; it’s just us, sure we’re not alone.
Shaindel Beers is currently a professor of English at Seminole Community College in Florida. She previously taught composition, literature, and liberal studies courses at College of Lake County in Grayslake, IL and Roosevelt University in Schaumburg, IL. Her poetry, fiction, and social commentary have appeared in numerous journals, and she serves as poetry editor of Contrary Magazine. Her poem "A Brief History of Time" has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and she has been the featured poet on "Poetic Logic," the Orlando area's NPR show which features local and visiting poets.
