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Wednesday, March 14, 2007


by George Held

The Delta Zeta newsletter wants to “put an end
to the media circus that is undermining
the educational experience, and causing
undo emotional stress and damage for all parties.”

That must be the educational experience
that caused the misspelling of “undue”
and the use of “for” for “to” after “damage.”
No, let’s not let the cliché “media circus” do

more damage to the education of Delta Zetes,
who claim they were mistreated when the Times
reported the National had forced the Local
to purge itself of its diversity—the Oriental,

the fat, the black, the ugly, and the drudge
who spends her time studying instead
of putting on makeup and putting out
for the Dekes and Betas. Hey, don’t misjudge

these gals—they just want to be proud of their House.
Who wants to be seen on campus with a loser
instead of a blonde beauty or a bouncy brunette?
Oh, excuse the stereotypes. It’s just the Greeks

have a way of molding frat men in the image
of Adonis and sorority girls as Helen of Troy.
Oh boy! And don’t we pick our friends by the way
they look and dress and walk and talk—as much

like us as possible? And how can diversity
compete with all those hand-in-hand Greek
couples who look like real brothers and sisters?
Now, that’s what I call campus harmony.

George Held publishes widely online and in print. His tenth collection of poems, The Art of Writing and Others, will appear from Finishing Line Press this year. He lives in Greenwich Village with his wife, Cheryl.