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Friday, March 19, 2010


by Lynn Hoffman

musical accompaniment on the penny whistle

Little Marie has outgrown the braces
That allow her to walk and to play
There's no insurance for little Marie:
The dumb little kid was just born that way

Hey diddle your dee and whoop Dee doo
We're Republican senators all
Perhaps her church and the Tea Party Gang,
Will catch her if she should fall.

Tony's kidneys gave up the ghost
And his dialysis credit did too
Tony'll probably be dead in a week
Aren't you glad that he isn't you?

Keisha's meds cost a thousand a month
And she makes just a grand and a half
Could we lower the prices and give her a break?
We could, but don't make us laugh.

Jose got a cut while harvesting grapes
And he's now filled with fever and pus
We'll see him deported if he doesn't die first
We're so happy that he isn't us!

Way out here in our dark red states
We all hate the government doles
Except for the millions in farm subsidies
Which keep us in health at the polls

Hey diddle my middle and fa-la screw you
We're Republican senators all
Our friends in insurance are as pleased as can be
We know they'll remember next fall.

So bend yourself over and take a deep breath
We're about to give you the wood
And then we'll convince you that we're your best friends
And it's all for your very own good.

We've taken good care of the rich and the strong
We've done everything that we could
And now we'll convince you that we're your best friends
And it's all for your very own good.

Lynn Hoffman is the author of The Short Course in Beer and The New Short Course in Wine.