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Friday, July 24, 2020

ELEGY FOR ALEX KEARNS

by Mark Danowsky


I spent a lot of time this week trying to come up with the best way to get those who make things in Silicon Valley to better understand the suicide of Alex Kearns, a student at the University of Nebraska. He killed himself after he mistakenly believed that he had a $730,000 negative balance on the millennial-popular Robinhood app, which he had downloaded to learn about investing. The tragedy got a lot of attention, especially after Forbes reported that Mr. Kearns left a note behind asking, “How was a 20-year-old with no income able to get assigned almost a million dollars of leverage?” How, indeed. —Kara Swisher, The New York Times, June 25, 2020


I am living in the after
After so much death
After so much unnecessary death
I am waiting on answers I will never receive
I am not alone in my waiting
I am waiting and waiting
I do not know how much I am willing to risk in the now
I do not want much
I do not want to give away the little I have
There is only so much we can claim as our own
I remember when we spoke of being lost in the fray
I am lost in the now
I am losing in the now
I am at a loss to name the meaning of now


Mark Danowsky is a poet / writer from Philadelphia and author of the poetry collection As Falls Trees (NightBallet Press, 2018). He’s Managing Editor for the Schuylkill Valley Journal.