TESTtosterone

by Darcy Grabenstein 

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced Wednesday that he is rolling out a new screening program for “testosterone deficiency” among troops, calling it necessary to allow them to operate at their “absolute best.” ...In the video, Hegseth simply refers to troops, though it appears he is talking about only testing men in uniform for hormone irregularities. AP, July 16, 2026

Pete HEgseth is proving 

that he’s a manly man, a HE-man
for he’s questioning the virility
of our men in uniform

After all, isn’t the true test of masculinity
taking advantage of under-age girls
or throwing punches in a UFC fight
or ICE goons slaughtering citizens?

Those in the good ole boys’ club
probably think that those with ‘low T’ 
would rather have high tea, pinkies raised
than shove a gun in the enemy’s face

Test for testosterone? Preposterous!

Here’s what and who we should be testing:
the IQ of our nation’s leaders
to determine whether they’re fit for office
not whether our troops are fit to serve

Excuse me. I’m about to have a fit.

A marketing writer by profession, Darcy Grabenstein turns to poetry as a creative and cathartic outlet. The theme of social (in)justice runs through many of her poems, and she longs for the day where her page will finally be blank.

MOMENT OF GLORY

by Susan Patton

Cartoon by Clay Jones

A fighter raised his hand in victory pose,

And for his spotlight moment he then chose

To yell “Michelle Obama is a man.”

A nation groaned to see his stupid plan.

He could have thanked his Savior and his God

And praised the freedom of the land he trod.

He could have given credit to his Maker

That he escaped once more the undertaker.

He could have wished his Prez a happy day.

From all the million things he chose to say-

“Remember me for spewing something vile.”

Joe Rogan stood beside him with a smile.

The people know that though true woman she is

She’ll always be a better man than he is.

The experiences that made Susan Patton who she is include a year as a VISTA volunteer on the Navajo reservation in 1969, a two month trip through Europe in 1969, a partnership in a travel agency which offered many travel opportunities, and 20 years as a children’s librarian in the public school system. She has a daughter, a grand-daughter, a husband of 59 years, and a cat. Susan has some wonderful friends who are kind enough to read some of my poems and country songs. She enjoys the discipline of the sonnet form which requires choosing the right words and discarding many favorites until it feels finished. 

A MATCH

by Anne Reiner

 

What does one 

give for a 250th anniversary?

 

The first gift was easy—

a declaration on paper.

 

We used to be a nation

who gathered

 

in pews, in booths,

on steps, on roofs.

 

But the pulpit has a party line,

and the diner is turning tables.

 

Now, a diamond can be manufactured. 

After 250 years,

 

how does one

celebrate freedom?

 

With a cage.

Cartoon by Ann Telnaes

Anne Reiner is a writer and biostatistician based in NYC.

LONG LIVE THE CAGE

by Ron Shapiro

 

 

 

 

On the White House lawn,
the president has erected
a 90 foot tall structure
nicknamed “The Claw”
for a UFC fight on the
night of his birthday.
 
With the People’s House
in the background, a violent
battle with cuts, blood and bruising
will unfold on the front lawn.
 
Cheering on senseless cruelty with
the rage of Orwell’s Two Minute Hate,
movie stars, soldiers and politicians
will celebrate the moral rot of amerika.
 
And then it will be over.
 
But the president wants to the cage
and claw to remain long after as
a symbol of Greatness, a new landmark,
akin to the Eiffel Tower.
 
Not a bad idea especially if the structure
can be used for senators and congress people,
along with billionaires, to enter the octagon
and beat the crap out of each other.
 
Let policy be directed by who has the strongest
arms and legs or the best submission hold not
the biggest mouth and the loudest voice.
No more words dressed as manipulative
rhetoric. Grunts and groans now command
 
Attention. Schumer versus McConnell or
Owens against Allred? Let the people choose
the bouts then let ‘em go at it. Put the show
on Netflix. Encourage betting. Let winners
 
Decide what’s best for the country. With
one punch to the gut, a kick in the groin
or a two-finger eye poke, universal health
care, a tax on the wealthy right around the corner.
 
So keep the cage standing. It may be just what
this country needs to progress towards the future
and bend the moral arc a bit closer to justice.
 

 

Ron Shapiro, an award-winning teacher, has published over 20 poems in publications including Nova Bards 24 & 25, Virginia Writers Project, The New Verse News, Poetry X Hunger, Minute Musings, Backchannels, Gezer Kibbutz Gallery, All Your Poems, Paper Cranes Literary Magazine, Zest of the Lemon and two chapbooks: Sacred Spaces, Wonderings and Understory, a collection of nature poetry.