by Steve Hellyard Swartz
I was thinking just now
What do I do first -
Cut my nails
Or wash the dishes?
My wife emails me that her friend Claire at work has told her that her husband flosses
Three times a day
I guess I should answer that, just not sure what to say
A shower might not be a bad idea, nice long hot shower
It's cold today
Not as cold as yesterday
But it's still cold
In Stewart's this morning, some guy was spouting off, but in a kind of funny way, about this thing with Governor Spitzer
Shouting:
Hey, maybe his floozie will give me a blue-collar rate!
Then he started in on the Lieutenant Governor, who is legally blind
They gonna soak the little guy for his German Shepherd?
When he started in on Spitzer’s New York Jewish cabal
I finally piped up:
Hey, I'm Jewish and I'm losing my sight
And I got a German Shepherd!
But I said it in the kind of way that made him and me laugh
I told them all I had to run
To a glaucoma exam
Oh, man, the loudmouth said, that ain't no fun
As I walked to my car in the Stewart's lot
The guy came out and yelled
Tell your doc to prescribe you weed!
Then come back here so we can share!
Okay, I don't have any more time to waste
First, let me clean up this shit from lunch
And when that's done
Then I can think about
Who or what's coming up to bat:
My nails
A walk for the dog
or
Feeding the cat
Steve Hellyard Swartz's poetry has appeared in New Verse News, Best Poem, switched-on gutenberg and The Kennesaw Review. In 2008, his poetry will appear in The Paterson Review and The Southern Indiana Review. In 1990, his film Never Leave Nevada opened in Dramatic Competition at the U.S. Sundance Film Festival.
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