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Friday, September 05, 2008

Volume Eight

by Bill Costley

Book LXXXV: CHENEY Bakes Mrs. Alaska

Alaska’s armedest hockey mom,
programmed w/Zapruder's clip,
draws a cold bead on Obama,
& gets taken into custody by
MIBs for an attempt on the life
of a presidential candidate. Mc
Cain rages: "Getchya hands off
my own Alaskan Candidate!"
& jabs a VP-destruct button;
CHENEY bakes Mrs.Alaska.

Book LXXXVI: CHENEY: Georgia Will Join NATO


"Georgia will be in our alliance," CHENEY said,
stressing America's "deep, abiding, & strong
commitment to Georgia’s overcoming invasion.
You were fearless during Russian occupation,
& steadfast in your principles. We respect you."

US officials stressed US aid would not rebuild
Georgia's military which will be decided in Dec.
when Georgian NATO membership is discussed
at a NATO ministerial meeting. Russia insisted
this (draws) a red line in east-west relations; its
NATO rep. said Moscow would now halt co-
operation with NATO over Afghanistan.

CHENEY visited Georgia as Ukraine's coalition
collapsed over the Russian invasion of Georgia.

Book LXXXVII: CHENEY, Preserve Yr VP Records!

based on the story by PETE YOST, AP Writer
(Wash. DC, 20 SEP 08)

A federal judge on Sat. ordered Dick CHENEY
to preserve a wide range of the records from his time as VP . . .

The decision by U.S. District Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly
is a setback for the Bush administration in its effort
to promote a narrow definition of materials that must be
safeguarded under by the Presidential Records Act.

The Bush administration's legal position
"heightens the court's concern" that some records
may not be preserved, said the judge.

The private CREW, Citizens for Responsibility & Ethics in Washington,
is suing CHENEY & the Executive Office of the President in an effort 2ensure
that no presidential records are destroyed/handled
in a way that makes them unavailable2 the public.

In a 22-page opinion, the judge revealed that in recent days,
lawyers for the Bush administration balked at a proposed agreement
between the 2 sides on how2proceed with the case.

CHENEY & the other defendants in the case "were only willing to agree
to a preservation order that tracked their narrowed interpretation"
of the Presidential Records Act, wrote Judge Kollar-Kotelly.

The administration, said the judge, wanted any court order on what records
are at issue in the suit 2cover only the office of the VP, not CHENEY
or the other defendants in the lawsuit. The other defendants include
the National Archives & archivist of the USA.

In response to the ruling, CHENEY spokesman James R. Hennigan
said that "we will not have any comment on pending litigation."

The lawsuit stems from CHENEY's position that: his
office is not part of the executive branch of government.

This summer, CHENEY’s chief of staff David Addington
told Congress the VP belongs 2neither
the executive nor legislative branch of government,
but rather is attached by the Constitution 2Congress.
The VP presides over the Senate.

The lawsuit alleges that the Bush administration's actions
over the past 7 1/2 years raise questions whether
the White House will turn over records created
by CHENEY & his staff 2the National Archives in Jan.

2 historians & 13 groups of historians & archivists
joined CREW in filing the suit 2 weeks ago.

Book LXXXVIII: Engineered by CHENEY

The Piscean Age gasps to a weepy ending.
flooding the world w/frissons of fiscal fear.
Knot-headed Sen. McCain = Cosmo Topper
& nobody’s convinced but other old POWs
raving that “socialism has come to America”
from under their scrambled-egged USN caps.
The Aquarian Age radiates its brightness as
hatless & jacketless audiences listen to Sen.
smoothly make today’s only sense.
But if neither of them can win in November,
who the hell can? Ivo predicts they’ll either
join to form a unity government, or we’ll get
a 3rd Dubya term, engineered by CHENEY.

Book LXXXIX: CHENEY's Afib & Cardioversion

based on the story by DEB RIECHMANN, AP Writer
(Wash. DC, 15 OCT 08)

VP Dick CHENEY experienced an abnormal heartbeat
Wed. a.m. & upon the advice of WH doctors, went to
the hosp. for a proced. to "restore his normal rhythm."

For 67-yr-old CHENEY, who canceled a campaign event
he was to attend later Wed. in IL, it will be the 2nd time
in less than a yr that he will have the outpatient procedure
[cardioversion] — which consists of an electric shock.

The VP's office said that after experiencing a problem,
CHENEY saw the WH physician (where) it was discovered
that he was experiencing a recurrence of atrial fibrillation (afib)
an abnormal rhythm involving the upper chambers of the heart,
said Megan Mitchell, a CHENEY spokeswoman.

As a result, CHENEY went to GWU Hospital in the afternoon,
Mitchell said. CHENEY remained at the WH until time for
the proced. & participated in regular morning briefings
w/Pres. Bush, among other duties.

CHENEY told Bush of his cond. The Pres. responded
"like he would with any friend," said spokesman Tony Fratto,
by wishing the VP well & telling him to "go & make sure
the doctors do what they need to do." Later, in Ada, MI,
Bush told reporters that CHENEY is "going 2B fine."
"He said he was confident, the doctors are confident,
& therefore I'm confident," Bush said.

CHENEY also experienced afib in Nov. 2007,
& doctors also administered cardioversion then in 2 1/2 hours.
An irregular heartbeat was discovered while WH doctors
were treating the VP for a lingering cough from a cold.

Dr. Zayd Eldadah, director of cardiac arrhythmia research
at Wash. Hosp. Ctr in Wash. DC, said it's not unusual
for CHENEY to have another such episode. An est.
2.8 million Americans have atrial fibrillation,
the most common type of irregular heartbeat
& one that is not life-threatening in itself.

"This kind of rhythm problem generally does keep coming back over time,"
said Eldadah, not involved in CHENEY's care. "The natural history
of afib in people who have heart disease & are older is that it keeps
coming back, & generally comes back more frequently."

The main risk from alfib is not that CHENEY will have
another heart attack, but that he could eventually
have a stroke if the rhythm problem is not treated.

Book XC: CHENEY’s covered

Ivo worries about CHENEY’s need
for medical coverage post Nov. 4th.
“Who will carry him after that? Will
he be covered until Jan 20th? Or the
anniversary of his 1st-day of work?”
Ivo’s more worried for CHENEY than
he is for Ivo's having Parkinson’s disease.
I don't even try to suggest that CHENEY
can COBRA coverage pre-covered by
all of his pensions: Halliburton CEO;
congressman, SECDEF, VP. Ivo asks:
“Will he retire to Abu Dhabi where he
moved Halliburton's HQ?” "No way;
back to WY (where he grew up.)"

Book XCI: CHENEY: Biden Hopes 2B . . .

based on the story by NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer
(Wash. DC, 13 Nov 08)

WASHINGTON – VP-elect Joe Biden was all smiles Thurs.
when he paid a courtesy call on the man he will succeed,
VP Dick CHENEY. But he has insisted he wants to be nothing like him.
Biden has called CHENEY "the most dangerous VP
we've had probably in American history" & said
he couldn't name a single good thing CHENEY had done.

But even if he won't acknowledge any similarities,
there's one way that Biden wants to be like CHENEY
— a strong partner in governing the country.

Biden is proving to be a hands-on No. 2 to Pres-elect Barack Obama.
He is carving out his own niche, specializing in foreign affairs,
his area of expertise for decades in the Senate, & sticking close to Obama.

Past VPs have often been relegated to ceremonial roles,
without major input on daily decisions. But the last 2 VPs,
CHENEY & Al Gore, have been extraordinarily involved
& insisted on private weekly lunches with their bosses.

Biden has said he told Obama, before accepting the running mate slot,
he wouldn't want a peripheral assignment like reorganizing government,
which Gore took on along (with other tasks) In a New Yorker interview last month,
Biden said he told Obama: "I don't want to be a VP who is not part of the major decisions you make."

Biden will have an experienced aide who can help his voice be heard in the White House.
He chose former Gore chief of staff Ron Klain to fill the same job for him.

Biden will certainly have a special interest in the Iraq war,
with his son scheduled to deploy there this month.

So far, Biden has been working closely with Obama.
He has been in almost all the pres.-elect's meetings
at his new government office space in Chicago
& has been dispatched to make calls to several foreign leaders.

Biden was asked to smooth over a miscommunication following
Obama's phone call with Polish President Lech Kaczynski last week.
Who issued a statement saying Obama vowed to continue with
Pres. Bush's missile defense project. But Obama's advisers denied it;
the Polish foreign minister later said it was a misinterpretation on their part.
Biden called Kaczynski a couple of days later to explain that the Obama
administration will assess the program before deciding whether to stick with it.

Biden also spoke this week with Afghan President Hamid Karzai,
Jordan's King Abdullah II, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown & Tony Blair.
Israel's foreign & defense ministers, opposition leader Benjamin Netanyahu.

Biden has said he'd like to use his 36 years in the Senate,
including leadership of the Judiciary & Foreign Relations committees,
to help push Obama's agenda in Congress. It's longtime insider's experience
that Obama lacks & a role that has not been CHENEY's focus.

CHENEY has been forceful in the White House,
while venturing to Capitol Hill occasionally
to cast a tie-breaking vote or meet with GOP lawmakers.

On the campaign trail, Biden often lambasted CHENEY
In a debate with Republican rival Sara Palin, Biden
objected to CHENEY's claim that the VP is part of the
legislative branch because of its largely ceremonial role as Senate president.
"The idea he's part of the legislative branch is a bizarre notion
invented by CHENEY to aggrandize the power of a unitary executive,
& look where it has gotten us," Biden said. "It has been very dangerous."

When "CBS Evening News" anchor Katie Couric
asked Biden to name the best & worst thing CHENEY has done as VP,
he said he hasn't done much good, then offered admiration for his strength.

"But the thing I think he really, really has done:
I think he's done more harm than any other
single high elected official in memory
in terms of shredding the Constitution," Biden said.
"You know, condoning torture, pushing torture as a policy,
this idea of a unitary executive, meaning the Congress
& the people have no power in a time of war,
& the president controls everything.
I don't have any animus toward Dick CHENEY,
but I really do think his attitude about the Constitution
& the prosecution of this war has been absolutely wrong."

Despite the harsh words during the campaign,
the CHENEYS invited Biden & his wife, Jill,
to the Naval Observatory, the official VP residence,
for an hourlong tour Thursday. Biden had been
in some of the first-floor rooms before. But it was his first
look at much of the mansion that will be his 1st Washington residence
after decades of commuting by train from Delaware.

Both couples were on their best behavior,
at least during their greetings on the porch that reporters observed.

"Mr. VP, how are you doing," Biden said. CHENEY replied,
"Joe, how are you?" & offered his congratulations.

Afterwards, as reporters left, a Secret Service agent
could be heard telling another agent standing guard
for the famously reclusive VP,
"I haven't seen Press here since I've been here."

A statement from CHENEY’S office said the couple
"enjoyed giving the Bidens a tour of the residence
& wished them well as they make it their home in January."

Book XCII: CHENEY Arraignment Pronounced

based on the story by CHRISTOPHER SHERMAN, Associated Press Writer
(Raymondville, TX, 20 Nov 08)

A TX judge has set an arraignment for VP Dick CHENEY,
former AG Alberto Gonzales & other officials
accused of involvement in prisoner abuse.

Presiding Judge Manuel Banales (buh-NAHL'-ehs)
said Wed he will allow them to waive arraignment
or have attorneys present rather than appear in person Fri.

Banales also said he would issue summonses, not warrants.
That allows them to avoid arrest & the need to post bond.

Willacy County DA Juan Guerra (GEHR'-uh)
accuses CHENEY (CHAY-knee), Gonzales (gun-ZA-less),
a state senator & others
of involvement in prisoner abuse
at a federal detention center in south TX.

Defense atty Tony Canales (kuh-NAHL'-ehs)
accuses Guerra of "prosecutorial vindictiveness"
& not following procedure

Book XCIII: CHENEY Says He's Guilty

based on the exclusive interview with ABC News by JONATHAN KARL
(Washington, D.C., 16 Dec. 2008)

"Have I changed?" CHENEY asked.
"Well, not in the sense that
I've gone through some fundamental
psychological transition here,
but I have been, since that day [9-11],
focused very much on what we needed
to do to defend the nation,
& I think the policies we've recommended,
the programs that we've undertaken,
have been good programs.
I think those have been sound decisions,
& if that's what they mean by
saying I've changed,
I'm guilty.

"I must say, I think
[Obama has] a pretty good team,"
CHENEY said. "I'm not close to
Barack Obama, obviously,
nor do I identify with him politically.
He's a liberal. I'm a conservative.

"But I think the idea of keeping
Gates at Defense is excellent.
I think Jim Jones will be very, very
effective as the national security adviser.

"While I would not have hired Sen. Clinton,
I think she's tough. She's smart,
works very hard & may turn out
to be just what Pres. Obama needs.

"How they deal with these issues
are going to be very important,
because it's going to have
a direct impact on whether
or not they retain the tools
that have been so essential
in defending the nation
for the last 7½ years, or
whether they give them up.

“Obama's team needs
to look at the specific threats,
understand how the programs
were put together,
& how they operate.
They shouldn't just fall back
on campaign rhetoric
to make these very fundamental
decisions about the safety of the nation.

"I loved being VP &
I loved my time in government
being SECDEF or Ford's chief of staff.
It's been 40 years since I came
to Washington to stay 12 months,
& I think it's about time
I went & did something else."

Asked whether he authorized the waterboarding
tactics against Khalid Sheikh Mohammed:
"I was aware of the program,
certainly, & involved in
helping get the process cleared,
as the agency (in effect)
came in & wanted to know what
they could & couldn't do.
They talked to me,
as well as others,
to explain what
they wanted to do.
I supported it.

"There was a period of time there,
3 or 4 years ago, when about half of
everything we knew about al Qaeda
came from that one source. So, it's
been a remarkably successful effort.
I think the results speak for themselves.

"If you're going to close Guantanamo,
what are you going to do with those prisoners?
One suggestion is, well,
we bring them to the United States.
Well, I don't know very many congressmen,
for example, who are eager to have
200 al Qaeda terrorists deposited in their district.

"I don't know any other nation in the world
that would do what we've done . . .
taking care of people who are avowed enemies,
& many of whom still swear up & down that
their only objective is to kill more Americans.

"As I look at the intelligence
with respect to Iraq,
what they got wrong
was that there weren't any stockpiles.

"What they found
was that Saddam Hussein
still had the capability
to produce weapons
of mass destruction.
He had the technology,
he had the people,
he had the basic feed stock.

"This was a bad actor,
& the country's better off,
the world's better off
with Saddam gone,
& I think we made the right decision,
in spite of the fact that the original NIE
was off in some of its major judgments."

Book XCIV: CHENEY Tells A Story About Surveillance

based on the interview with Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday
(Washington, D.C., 21 Dec. 2008)

WALLACE: Let's drill down into some
of the specific measures that you pushed —
first of all, the warrantless surveillance
on a massive scale, without telling
the appropriate court, without seeking
legislation from Congress. Why not,
in the aftermath of 9/11
& the spirit of national unity,
get approval, support, bring in
other branches of government?

CHENEY: Well, let me tell you a story
about the terror surveillance program.
We did brief the Congress & we brought in…

WALLACE: Well, you briefed a few members.

CHENEY: We brought in the chairman
& the ranking member, House & Senate,
& briefed them a number of times up until —
this was from late '01 up until '04 when there was
additional controversy concerning the program.

At that point, we brought in
what I describe as the big 9:
not only the intel people,
but also the speaker,
the majority & minority leaders
of the House & Senate,
& brought them into the situation room
in the basement of the White House.

I presided over the meeting.
We briefed them on the program,
& what we'd achieved,
& how it worked,
& asked them,
"Should we continue the program?"
They were unanimous,
Republican & Democrat alike.
All agreed — absolutely
essential to continue the program.

I then said, "Do we need to come to the Congress
& get additional legislative authorization
to continue what we're doing?" They said,
"Absolutely not. Don't do it, because it will reveal
to the enemy how it is we're reading their mail."

That happened. We did consult.
We did keep them involved.
We ultimately ended up having to go to the Congress
after the NYT decided they were going to make
the judge to review all of —
or make all of this available, obviously,
when they reacted to a specific leak.

But it was a program
that we briefed on repeatedly.
We did these briefings in my office.
I presided over them.
We went to the key people
in the House & Senate intel committees
& ultimately the entirely leadership
& sought their advice & counsel,
& they agreed we should not
come back to the Congress.

Book XCV: CHENEY Raves

CHENEY raves alone
on the porcelain throne,
damning Obama’s blood
as lacking real manhood:

“Real men can disagree
about what's tortury,
but only communists
cancel war-contracts!”

CHENEY will retire
to Dubai to the heart
of Haliburton corporat,
protected by Black-
water Men in Black.

“I am who I was & am;
I am the realer Man!”
CHENEY boasts alone.

Book XCVI: CHENEY Unhappy

based on the Reuters news story by James Vicini 15 MAR 09
editing by Bill Trott; re-editing by Bill Costley
(Washington, D.C., 15 Mar. 2009)

said today he was unhappy with
then-POTUS George W. Bush's refusal
to pardon Lewis "Scooter" Libby,
CHENEY's onetime chief of staff
who was convicted in the CIA leak case.

"I was clearly not happy that we, in effect,
left Scooter sort of hanging in the wind,"
CHENEY said in an interview on
CNN's "State of the Union with John King."
CHENEY acknowledged a
"fundamental difference of opinion"
with Bush on the matter.

A federal jury in Washington
convicted Libby of lying & obstructing
an investigation into who blew the cover
of CIA officer Valerie Plame, whose husband,
former Ambassador Joseph Wilson,
had criticized the Iraq war.

Bush earlier commuted Libby's
2-1/2-year prison sentence,
but before leaving office in January,
Bush refused to give Libby an outright pardon.

CHENEY said Libby had been unjustly accused
& deserved a pardon, but Bush disagreed.
It was one of the few areas that CHENEY
has publicly said he disagreed with Bush
on during their 8 years in the White House.

CHENEY continued his criticism
of POTUS Barack Obama's
national security policies, saying they
"raise the risk to the American people of another attack."

In one of his first acts after taking office,
POTUS Obama vowed to close
the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba
within a year. It now holds about 240 terrorism suspects.

He also ordered more humane treatment
for terrorism suspects & an end to renditions,
the practice of transporting foreign detainees
to other countries for interrogation.

On Friday, the Obama administration
said it would no longer use the Bush-era term
of "enemy combatant" for the Guantanamo detainees
& it rejected Bush's position that the POTUS alone
can order the suspects
be held indefinitely without charge.

CHENEY defended the policies
adopted by the Bush administration
in the war on terrorism
as being done legally
& in accordance with
U.S. "constitutional practices & principles."

"I think those programs
were absolutely essential
to the success we enjoyed of
being able to collect the intelligence
that let us defeat all further attempts to launch attacks
against the United States since 9/11," CHENEY said.

Click here for Book XCVII.

Bill Costley serves on the Steering Committee of the San Francisco Bay area chapter of the National Writers Union.