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Friday, September 07, 2012


by Max Gutmann


The ladies tell us they resent
  The stupid things we say.
And dark-skinned voters represent
  A challenge any day.
The way the demographics splay,
  It's really looking bad.
We'd better figure out a way
  To make more white guys mad.

Our lock upon the one percent
  Is not enough to sway
The count. To really make a dent
  We're gonna have to play
On primal anger, fears that weigh
  On every true blue lad.
It's not enough to cause dismay:
  Let's make those white guys mad.

We'll say a Muslim's President.
  He comes from far away.
He hates us and won't be content
  Till every bride is gay.
Our guns and values he'll betray.
  Achievement makes him sad.
Don't worry if it's dumb; just pray
  It makes more white guys mad.

Whatever works is A-okay.
  If it's untrue a tad,
Who cares? We'll say it anyway
  To make more white guys mad.

Max Gutmann has contributed verse to Measure, Cricket, Orbis, and other publications.