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Saturday, December 23, 2017

SMITHEREEN '17

by Max Gutmann




Chiefily-briefily
William H. Harrison
Served in the White House for
Days and then died.

Uninspirational
Formerly, now it's a
Model Americans
Speak of with pride.

*

Dupery-poopery,
Senator Cassidy
Lied on TV and made
Talk-show hosts frown,

Neologistically
Coining the Kimmel Rule
Just to ignore it. "It's
Named for a clown!"

*

Flippity-floppity
Anikin Skywalker
Quitted the Dark Side (he
Saw it was bad),

Prompting its leader to
Intergalactically
Tweet: He's Darth Loser! No
Loyaltie! SAD!!!

*

Bushery-tushery,
Roslyn Corrigan
Groped many years ago,
Finally spoke.

Ultraperplexity:
Which part was worse, that Bush
Grabbed, or his dumb David-
Cop-a-Feel joke?

*

Drivery-thrivery,
Annika Sörenstam
Rose to be golf champ by
Playing the game,

Living on golf courses
Uninterruptedly.
T***p serves as President
Doing the same.

*

Sagey-Be, Kay-Gee-Be,
President Kennedy,
Commonly known as a
Bit of a chump,

Unpatriotically
Trusted the Russians who
Claimed they'd not tampered with--
Oops. I meant T***p.

*

Wiselly-sizelly,
Theodore Roosevelt
Said if one's strong, speaking
Softly's the trick.

President T***p, showing
Dissimilarity,
Boomingly boasts of the
Size of his . . . stick.

*

Royally-loyally,
Catherine Middleton,
Polls say, is England's first
Choice for new queen,

Leading Prince Charles to show
Irritability,
Muttering something that's
Mildly unclean.

*

Wishily-washily,
Captain America,
Boldly created as
Fascism's foe,

Says after Charlottesville,
Anticlimactically,
"Nazis were right about
Some things, you know?"


Max Gutmann has contributed to RE:AL and other publications.