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Friday, September 10, 2021


by Ellen Hawley McWhirter

I am the very model of a QAnon conspiracy
Born and bred to foster fear and rampant insecurity
And through the years, you must admit
I’ve gotten rather good at it:
I am the very model of a QAnon conspiracy.
I weaponize the people who feel left behind, and I compel 
their loud attacks on science and on medicine and truth itself.
The stranger that my theories get,
The more that they are shared and spread
‘cause QAnon conspiracies, like COVID, are quite hard to quell.
The Democrats are stealing children underneath your very nose
Selling them and eating them and hardly anybody knows.
You must refuse to vaccinate;
Just drink some bleach and you’ll be great,
And watch out for the Deep dark State our hero Trump tried to expose

The national election it was stolen, it was clearly fraud:
Put Democrats and disagreers all before a firing squad!
The Bible and the Constitution
Call for bloody resolution
Get your guns and bombs, and know that Jesus surely would applaud.
The wearing of a mask is an affront to true civility
The bearing of a weapon anywhere is basic liberty
Mass shootings are a lie perverse,
And climate change is even worse
You must defend these truths with Christian hatred and hostility.
The only threat that worries me is thinking that is critical,
That shows my puppeteering, and is clear and analytical,
Exposes my hypocrisy,
and questions what’s in it for me,
and highlights common ground across our differences political.
Now if you think I’m bragging, it’s just not that hard to play this game
When people are unhappy and are seeking someone else to blame
A rumor and some blatant lies,            
And 1-2-3 you’re polarized,
And Jewish lasers shot from space fan all the sparks right into flame.
I am the very model of a QAnon conspiracy
Fed by anger, ignorance, and hunger for identity
I’m anti-logic, anti-truth,
I’m anti-them and all for you:
I am the very model of a QAnon conspiracy.

Ellen Hawley McWhirter is a professor of counseling psychology and writes poetry to preserve her sanity.