I WILL SPEAK FOR YOU, MY DEAR

by Judy Juanita

I will speak for you, my dear

since nobody seems to have heard of you 

even now that Gloria Steinem is dead

I see you trembling as he punched you with his fist

I see you hit the kitchen floor after he knocked you down

in front of us, his children

I hear him curse you over and over

when he lost at the racetrack

I feel the broomstick on my back 

when his fury at his losing horse boiled over

I will speak for you, my mother

since nobody has heard of you 

even now that Gloria Steinem is dead

I see that faint scar on your lip 

that he put there with a fireplace tong

I cannot unsee him knocking you down 

for hitchhiking to get the laundry done

I cannot delete the moment you woke up 

being raped in the marital bed

As Luenell said of Bill Cosby, that’s like fucking a corpse

I will speak for you, my dear

since nobody seems to hear you 

I hear him berate you for 20 minutes when he thought I had hung up

I hear his son tell him not to talk to his mother that way

Who will speak for you now that Gloria Steinem is dead?

I see him raping your young niece while you commute to work everyday

I read my Malaysian student’s essay on constant rape by her brother

I hear my Burmese/Chinese student tell of being raped repeatedly by the older brother 

who now berates her for being too woke

I will speak for you, my sisters

since nobody has heard of you 

and Gloria Steinem has died

I will speak for you, my sister in Savannah

who never grew your hair after the boy cuzzin raped you 

and cut off your long braid

An apology is a keloid 

after the fact

after the act

this ain’t apology

Gloria Steinem, the pretty white girl

In aviator glasses posing as a playboy bunny

never apologized

So I will speak for you, my dears

as we stand in woundedness

more than pretty in our unprettiness

brave in our cancerous bodies

solemn in our widow black wool

standing up to our lessers

who lie taller even in coffins or wrapped in Muslim cloth

finally apologetic

but still more respected 

more mourned 

more listened to

I have to speak for those who have borne the lash

otherwise our cries will be treated as complaint 

and shouts of aggression

I have to speak for those who have suffered the most

because Gloria Steinem and every single white woman 

who defied the patriarchy were buffers

Their grace served all and served well

Being beaten, being murdered, being swindled out of money or emotion, 

being harangued, serving prison time for any of these grievous acts,

are the grimmer, graceless realities that women of color face

I will speak for you, my dears

Judy Juanita’s latest books are California Fever Dream: A Memoir (Willow) and a pro-choice look at abortion, Abortion (or Woman as Threefold Murderess). Her poetry collection Manhattan my ass, you’re in Oakland won the American Book Award in 2021. In her semi-autobiographical novel Virgin Soul, (Viking, 2013), the protagonist joins the Black Panther Party in the sixties in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her collection of short stories The High Price of Freeways won the 2021 Tartt Fiction Award (Livingston, 2022). Her latest book of poetry GAWDZILLA equates the filmic Godzilla to US imperialism, racism, and sexism. Her collection of essays DeFacto Feminism: Essays Straight Outta Oakland came out in 2016.