I keep forgetting that this week
is New York Comic Con
earlier today I was walking down 10th Ave
chain-ripping the weed pen
I turned onto 33rd St
& almost collided with a posse
of axe and bow-wielding barbarians:
fur-covered shoulder pads
leather arm bands
blood-splattered warrior tunics
white & blue face paint
one of them slugging an energy drink
they looked across the avenue
& began making these terrible shrieks
like werewolves in group therapy
a pair of Roman legionnaires
were marching toward us on the crosswalk
shields strapped to backs
spears out & ready
they were flanked by a blaster-carrying Stormtrooper
a 6-foot-6 foxlike critter with big Looney Tunes eyes
an anime version of Supergirl
some kind of elf/wizard hybrid with blue skin
& a tentacle monster
wearing a see-through plastic rain jacket
the barbarians kept screaming
I stepped back as the groups converged
anticipating carnage
but everyone just started hugging
& fist/paw bumping
the screams turned to giggles
Supergirl took a flask & a vape out of her skirt
& they passed them around
weapons & appendages gleaming
in the sunlight
reflected by the skyscrapers
it was beautiful
& all I could think was…
wow
I’d somehow traveled the multiverse
to its best possible outcome
where creatures
from every fantastic realm & epoch
were not only real
but could also co-exist
in love & degeneracy
then the crosswalk light changed
& a Cybertruck veered out of traffic toward the curb
aiming to park in the space
where the elf/wizard & tentacle monster
were standing
a pudgy guy with neck tats
& a police-friendly American flag
trucker hat
poked his head
out of the passenger side window
& shouted
“get outta the street
ya FAWKIN GOOFS”
& they did
there were no pithy comebacks
no volley of arrows or spears
or laser blasts
into the side of the truck
or its occupants’ skulls
no threats of disembowelment
or tentacle choke-outs
or oaths of revenge
just a collective look of sheepishness
& defeat
that was so complete I had to turn my attention
farther down the block
where a skeletal woman
in a Knicks t-shirt
was puking hot dog guts
into a trash can
next to 3 teenagers recording themselves
dancing like seizuring flamingos
I continued walking
took a big rip from the pen
reminding myself that this is it
this is all we get
this is my Roman Empire
