MARY ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

by Suzanne Morris

The irrepressible

Mary Richards has

seized the cap she had

tossed in the air,

shined up her high brass

walking boots, and

temporarily stepped down

from her iconic pedestal

on Nicollet Mall at the

corner of 7th Avenue

in Minneapolis.

At the urging of

the Vice President and

the Governor, who

wholeheartedly agreed

nothing could be

Minnesota Nicer than to

have Mary on board

as a campaign adviser,

the 1970's TV character

who cheered women on

in the chase for their dreams

recognized at once

the meaningful encore

to her long-running

top-rated sitcom:

cheering on the first Black/

Asian American woman

in her quest for the

highest office in the land

right up to the

5th of November

when–God willing–

the VP and the Governor

will carry the day and

all the joy

into the White House

for the next four years.

Then, with parting advice

for the new President

to remember her example

Mary can climb up

on her pedestal again,

toss her cap

in the air, and

turn the world on

with her smile.

Suzanne Morris is a novelist with eight published works, and a poet.  Her poems have appeared in several anthologies, and in online poetry journals including The New Verse News, The Texas Poetry Assignment, and Stone Poetry Quarterly.  She resides in Cherokee County, Texas.

WILD ABOUT WHITE

by Jen Schneider

FIND AN ANIMAL SHELTER IN YOUR AREA

sets on. lights bright. everyone wild. wild about white. all bets on betty. betty always on. leg of hose & humor on tap. eyes of blue & berry sparkle. body & mind of pure spunk. cameras click. lights blind while white binds. folks of television lands. card hands & foreign tongues. tongues click. vocal cords clack. white cures airs of silence. heir to all. syllables stream. smiles crack. baby blues sparkle. betty curates & creates. aches of bellies & bent backs arc. laughter always on the menu. dial in. dial on. of/with/at your back. always streaming. of decades. of then. of now. flashes of brilliance. beltways of brightness. of dolls & decades. of danes, dances & daily documentation. of golden girls & mary tyler moore. everyone always eager for more. regimens & irregularities. broads on main. saturday night brilliance. live on stage (& social). expert at both crafting & creating a life. time to mourn. time to adorn. under the lights. lights bright. sets on. everyone wild. wild about white.

99 (by three) ways to make (live) (transform) a life

1.     Entertain all people, possibilities, & permutations. Ration sarcasm.

2.     Track consumption not weight. Weigh options. Seize opportunity.

3.     Track actions, not time. Treasure time & tunes of many types (& transcripts / scripts).

4.     Experience & experiment with life, love, laughter. Liquid humor, too.

5.     Season all sauces. Secure all seasons (& reasons).

6.     Breed offspring of original lines. Converse (& traverse) lines of unoriginal origin.

7.     Maximize sauciness. Minimize saltiness.

8.     Memorize scripts regularly. Make new memories daily.

9.     Prime personalities & timing. Always of/on prime time.

10.  Improvise finales. Rehearse final lines.

11.  Glow (like a Golden Girl). Emulate (like a multi-Emmy winner).

12.  Collect & create (a life on high definition). (re)Create. Juxtapose. Pose often.

13.  Patron (not patronize) all personalities. Puree peculiarities & ponderings.

14.  Befriend & pet creatures of many paws. Pause often. Inhale. Glow. Regale.

15.  Pen recipes of craft & creation. Greet consumers of/on/in People & Parade.

16.  Serenade serendipity. Harmonize habits. Habituate harmony.

17.  Entertain all possibilities. Entertain all people. Populate screens. Screen popularity.

18.  Track actions. Not time. Treasure time & tunes of many types.

19.  Experience & experiment with life, love, & laughter. Favor foods of familiar roots.

20.  Embrace final words & works. Take action & agency. Work finales.

21.  Grace plates, tubes, & presents. Maintain presence of mind and manners.

22.  Practice gratitude. Tether caution. For/of/in/at duties. Projects, too.  

23.  Be of homegrown grains & household grime.

24.  Assess all situations. Situate all communications. Savor sitcoms.

25.  Twinkle under stars, in eyes, of curtseys. make light of most makings.

26.  Stroll across stages. Put pen to paper. Pamper pets in pens.

27.  Add a dose of sass to all sensations (& creations)

28.  Be curious. Be courageous. Be(t) on/of/for betty.

29.  Mix & mingle. Sip sweet & salty. Stir trouble. Add dashes of umph.

30.  Blanket newsstands. Blanket screens. Fill in (all) blanks.

31.  Run series. Run bits. Run betty.

32.  Plan jokes of spontaneous & unpredictable possibility. Do not plan. Be.

33.  Be (dedicated to thee) betty.

Sources:

https://people.com/tv/betty-white-died-peacefully-in-her-sleep-at-home-agent-says/

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/31/arts/television/betty-white-dead.html

https://www.cnn.com/2021/12/16/entertainment/betty-white-100/index.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2021/12/31/betty-white-appreciation-tribute/

Jen Schneider is an educator who lives, writes, and works in small spaces throughout Pennsylvania. She is a Best of the Net nominee, with stories, poems, and essays published in a wide variety of literary and scholarly journals. She is the author of A Collection of Recollections (Next Chapter), Invisible Ink (Toho Pub), On Daily Puzzles: (Un)locking Invisibility (forthcoming, Moonstone Press), and Blindfolds, Bruises, and Breakups (forthcoming Atmosphere Press).