NOT TODAY, PINKO!

by Steven Kent

"Rightwingers say 'pink-haired liberals' are killing New York pizza"

—The Guardian, 29 June 2023

A plot, a plot, a plot's afoot;

   These commies can't deny it.

They claim they want to cut down soot,

   But patriots don't buy it!

Our ovens they will never take

   And leave us in the lurch here.

Clean air's a ruse, a hoax, a fake—

  We did our own research here!

Editor’s note: Here’s what’s really happening.

Steven Kent is the poetic alter ego of writer, musician, and Oxford comma enthusiast Kent Burnside. His work appears in Light, Lighten Up Online, Snakeskin, and OEDILF, among others.

BALLS

by Douglas G. Brown

In the home of the bean and the cod,

The footballs were some deflated;

Coach Belichick sits at the right hand of God,

And the Patriots fans are elated.

Douglas G. Brown is a former geologist and chemical worker. His light verse has been published in Light, Lightenup Online, The Spectator, and Trinacria. Brown is a lukewarm Red Sox and Bruins fan, but only has an interest in football whan a scandal erupts (or, deflates).