GIULIANI WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA

by Jon Wesick

with apologies to Charlie Daniels

Jack Ohman: "A peach of a guy," The Sacramento Bee, August 18, 2022

Giuliani went down to Georgia, he was lookin’ for votes to steal

He was in a bind ‘cause Trump was way behind

And he was willin’ to make a deal

 

When he came across the DA writing subpoenas and slinging ‘em hot

And Giuliani pled attorney-client with Trump

And said, “girl, let me tell you what”

 

“I guess you didn’t know I’m a lawyer too

At least until I was disbarred

Now you got a pretty good grand jury, girl

But why you gotta’ make it so hard

Makin’ me travel to Atlanta

By bus, or train, or car?”

 

The DA said, “My name is Fani and I’m gonna’ win

And you can bet you’re gonna’ regret

‘Cause I’m the best there’s ever been”

 

Giuliani wiped off his hair dye and said, “I’ll start this grift”

And nothing else passed his lips except, “I take the fifth”

All the hacks at Fox News made an evil hiss

While Lindsey Graham filed appeals for judges to dismiss

 

Fani said, “You’re pretty slick, old son

But sit right there in the witness chair

And I’ll show you how it’s done”

 

Classified documents out in the sun

While Trump considers a twenty-four run

New York, Georgia, and Feds closing in

Holding our breath for justice to win

 

Giuliani hung his head ‘cause he knew he’d been beat

As he climbed down off the witness seat

And Fani cracked a smile

“Come on back to Georgia

I’ll see you at your trial”

 

Jon Wesick is a regional editor of the San Diego Poetry Annual. He’s published hundreds of poems and stories in journals such as the Atlanta Review, Berkeley Fiction Review, Metal Scratches, The New Verse News, Pearl, Slipstream, Space and Time, Tales of the Talisman, and Zahir. Jon is the author of the poetry collections Words of Power, Dances of Freedom and A Foreigner Wherever I Go as well as several novels and short story collections. His most recent novel is The Prague Deception.

ALTAR BOY

by Catherine Chandler




how I would shake
confessing venial sin

in that dark space
behind that sliding door

to Father
Father Son and Holy Ghost—

an apple pilfered
from the cellar bin

a cuss word slip-up
a neglected chore

a schoolyard scuffle or a lie 
a boast—

while he who consecrated
water   wine

who baptized babies
visited the sick

was fucking me           though they
would reassign

him      allegations never seemed
to stick

because whose word was sacred
his or mine

my lexicon too simple             tongue
and dick

the bishop kicked the reverend
upstairs

before he died            but sent
his thoughts and prayers

Catherine Chandler is the author of four collections of poetry, including Lines of Flight, shortlisted for the Poets' Prize, and The Frangible Hour, winner of the Richard Wilbur Award. Currently living in Saint-Lazare-de-Vaudreuil, Quebec, she was reared in Wilkes-Barre, PA, in the Diocese of Scranton.

SCENES FROM THE HOEDOWN

by Joseph Reich

More than 25,000 people marched through Manhattan on Saturday, police officials said. --NY Times, December 13, 2014. Photo Credit: Kena Betancur/Getty Images

united states of amerika!
ready or not here i come!
united states of amerika!
don’t know who i am
          anymore!
united states of amerika!
ready or not here i cum!
united states of amerika!
don’t know who i am
          no more!
united states of amerika!
what the fuck! jeeze-louise!
& sweet-fancy moses!
united states of amerika!
make way for the joker
& riddler & fiddler
on the roof! they took
everything from you
(your all-inclusive
now reclusive
heart & soul
hardened soul
gone numb & cold!)
& the bat signal is lost!
united states of amerika!
kkk! kentucky fried chicken!
& a chicken in every pot!
united states of amerika!
make love not war! huh?
make love not war! huh?
make love not war! huh?
make love not war! huh?
united states of amerika!
with your 3 recent
killings of 3 unarmed
black men with heads
down heads up hands up!
claiming can’t breathe man
man to man (to the man!)
5! 6! 7! 8! 9! times
might tell you to count
backwards 9! 8! 7! 6! 5!
to get rid of your anger!
to get rid of the trigger!
to get rid of the stranger!
to get rid of your crime!
united states of amerika!
where might will always
win out over right
(especially in
the middle
of the night!)
& when you find
are under their control
got absolutely no rights!
united states of amerika!
a wink & a nod
this one is 4 you!
o brave men in blue!
serving & protecting!
serving & protecting!
serving & protecting!
serving & protecting!
united states of amerika!
been given a warning!
been given a warning!
united states of amerika!
what would you call this?
a hit & run? road kill?
the hunting season?
pleading self-defense?
insanity? taking the
5th? mistaken identity?
united states of amerika!
how come cry uncle
doesn’t work anymore!
united states of amerika!
have you heard the one?
united states of amerika!
come on down!
come on down!
come on down!
calm on down!
united states
of amerika!
ringo-leevio!
123! 123! 123!
united states of amerika!
321! 321! 321! & then
zero! zap! they’re all gone!
united states of amerika!
how would your chalk
artist now draw chalk
around the broken
bones of those 3
recent innocent
dead bodies
on the run
& would they
look anything
like the crucified jesus?
like the boogie man?
like black man hanging?
united states of amerika!
i can’t get my arms
around? can’t get my
head? can’t get arms up!
united states of amerika!
with your torture report
your bible of what really
goes on behind closed doors!
(what they like to refer to
as “advanced interrogation”
& just curious? do they have
a remedial session? think
john lennon still asked
the operational question–
“how do you sleep at night?
jim morrison–‘5 in 1, 1 in 5
no one here gets out alive!’
gil-scott heron! the revolution
did get televised! & they’re
still in denial! still dying!)
united states of amerika!
i’ve got some developing news!
i’ve got some breaking news!
i’ve got rules & regulations!
i’ve got the blues!
united states of amerika!
i’ve got a rhetorical question?
ahhh! forget about it!
you already answered it!
united states of amerika!
i’ve got an onset & upset
case of tourette’s  & promise
you ain’t making it up
or doing it to attract
attention! matter of
fact quite the opposite!
united states of amerika!
my p.t.s.d. is kicking in
& don’t know what to do
to stop it, as your triggers
are so goddamn persistent!
so united states of amerika
what should i do? become
obsessive-compulsive
to try and get control?
to make sense of it all?
united states of amerika!
red rover! red rover!
let my loss & madness
come over! caught between
the fight & the flee & the flee
& fight syndrome & left with
just the raw flesh & bones
of symptoms & no place
to call my own literally
kicked out of bars
defending every
lost soul!
half-crazed!
holy! hysterical!
waddling, wandering
happily ever after
down the avenue
all by my lonesome!
like chaplin on-the-run
running into old runaway
pals & partners just as
abandoned & done wrong!
old black men now homeless
in the park turned out
by white girls they had
mistakenly fallen for
& used to give
exhibitions at
the guggenheim
& the whitney!
hoodlums!
enterprising
drug dealers!
old timer
madmen
geniuses!
multi-millionaire
hoteliers now
penniless!
vacant!
supported by
angelic daughters!
united states of amerika!
what’s up! what’s up!
united states of amerika!
is this your bloody & gory
version of world federated
smackdown? only not fake
& choreographed & the real
deal & brutishly acted-out
with guns & chokeholds
& the ones going down
the results always fatal!
united states of amerika!
with not enough evidence
to bring them into court!
united states of amerika!
to not even file a report!
united states of amerika!
with not enough
cold! hard! facts!
united states of amerika!
with not enough evidence
for dignity & respect!
united states of amerika!
to not bring them home
to their moms & dads!
united states of amerika!
innocent till proven guilty?
guilty till proven innocent?
sorry got that all mixed-up!
united states of amerika!
always a punch line
to your eternal joke!
united states of amerika!
hiccup! hiccup! he cough!
united states of amerika!
from st louis, missouri!
to the state of florida!
to new york, new york!
to phoenix, arizona!
united states of amerika!
where they still operate
& function by a poll
tax & ride the back
& coat tails of 40
acres & a mule!
united states
of amerika!
watch your back!
watch your back!
watch your back!
watch your back!
not by coincidence
all walk with heads
over their shoulders!
united states of amerika!
where the murderers roam!
united states of amerika!
where the romans murder!
united states of amerika!
worse than any roman empire!
united states of amerika!
worse than any rise & fall
(where hopefully one day
the fallen may rise once more!)
'cause you’re conveniently
turning you’re head
the other direction
& disrespecting
not even deserving
of bringing them in
in front of a judge & jury!
united states of amerika!
bring on the brainwash!
brutality! rationalization!
justification! manipulation!
united states of amerika!
still not showing an ounce
of remorse or contrition!
united states of amerika!
where they can stop you
based on suspicion or guilt
by association (‘cause they run
the show & they got the power!)
but never tell you what you’re
suspicious of & who you’re
associating with, like some
real-life fucked-up kafkaesque
word problem with no solution
as there are no possible
factors to the equation!
united states of amerika!
better to be seen & not heard!
or do i have that backwards?
or vice-versa? or does
any of that really matter?
united states of amerika!
with your infamous
anger management!
think about the state
of that statement
& deconstruct it!
anger management!
anger management!
anger management!
anger management!
like some cold-hearted
& callous corporation!
& will patronize
& parentify
& tell you to work
through your issues
& you got enough
to make a living!
united states of amerika!
what happened to your
jeffersonian democracy!
jeffersons moving on up!
archie bunker hand on
your heart hand on
your gun pledge
of allegiance
myth debunked!
united states
of amerika!
here once again
is your rerun!
your rerun!
your rerun!
your rerun!
your home movie
mu/dead played
in slow-motion
over & over
& over again!
united states
of amerika!
your real-life
son of a gun!
son of a gun!
united states
of amerika!
here’s your toast!
here’s your roast!
here’s your heart
& soul on a platter!
for all you white
devils & white
trash! for all you
lily-white tourists
& your instant
guide to success!
how to win friends
& influence the masses
& to forgive & forget!
united states of amerika!
you’re a cheap rip off!
you’re a chip
off the old block!
& the apple doesn’t fall
too far from the jock!
from the schmuck!
from the murderer!
from the manslaughterer!
from the police benevolent
association & supporters!
from the parent teacher’s
association & those don’t
let into the neighborhood!
(really no joke! & the real
estate agents back them up!)
from the kangaroo court!
from the puppet/tears!
from the dummies
& ventriloquists!
from the false witnesses!
from the hung jury!
from the judge
& the misses!
from the pimp
& politician
& people
who voted
them in!
united states of amerika!
off to the sacrifice & slaughter!
your breakfast of champions!
& madonna/whore daughters!
united states of amerika!
do not pass go!
do not collect 200!
united states of amerika!
in god we trust! & ashes
to ashes! dust to dust!
united states of amerika!
ready or not here i come!
united states of amerika!
don’t know who i am anymore!
united states of amerika!
yes sir! yes ‘um! uuum...
united states of amerika!
god a cross between a howl
& crying-out and nothing’s
coming out no more!
united states of amerika!
been there! done that!
united states of amerika!
beer here! beer here!
united states of amerika!
stand your ground
& give them
a beat down!
u knighted states
uuh...mur
eek! cold
united stay
of amerika!
united stain
on amerika!

Joseph Reich has been published in a wide variety of eclectic literary journals both here and abroad, been nominated five times for The Pushcart Prize, and his most recent books include, A Different  Sort Of Distance (Skive Magazine Press), If I Told You To Jump Off The Brooklyn Bridge (Flutter Press), Pain Diary: Working Methadone & The Life & Times Of The Man Sawed In Half (Brick Road Poetry Press), Drugstore Sushi (Thunderclap Press), The Derivation Of Cowboys & Indians (Fomite Press) The Housing Market: a comfortable place to jump off the end of the world (Fomite Press) The Hole That Runs Through Utopia (Fomite Press), Taking The Fifth And Running With It: a psychological guide for the hard of hearing and blind (Broadstone Books) , and The Defense Mechanisms: your guide to the fragile mind (Pski Porch Press).

FERGUSON 2014

by Alan Catlin

CHARLIE RIEDEL/AP via People.com

Beneath Seasons Greetings banner/
sign spanning Ferguson Missouri
street, armored cars, police behind
plastic shields, slow marching into
unruly crowds doused by tear gas
blasts, bean bag volleys, protestors
carrying Stop the Killing signs, street
fires burning, small arms fire,
no indictment tonight.


Alan Catlin has published numerous chapbooks and full-length books of poetry and prose, the latest of which, from March Street Press, is Alien Nation.