THE FIRST RULE OF COMEDY

by Thomas J. Erickson

Monkeys are always funny.

 

Remember when Sergeant Bilko inducted the little scene stealer into the Army

or when Ronnie Reagan put Bonzo to bed?

Lance Link Secret Chimp did a helluva Ed Sullivan imitation.

 

We all have Neanderthal DNA. Someone must have shtupped a Neanderthal

on a dare or maybe it was some type of prehistoric performance art

or the drunken jerk did it for laughs apparently before there were any

rules of comedy.

 

Should we get another dog after Edie dies, my wife asks.

Yes, let’s get two. 

One for me and one for you.

Yours can have the booties and the rain coat.

 

How do we know when something is over?

Why are we so slow to realize the death

of a plant or a season or a library

or a democracy?

 

Even so, Senator Hawley’s mad dash through the hall broke me up

which reminded me of the second rule of comedy: 

Always leave them laughing.

Thomas J. Erickson is an attorney in Milwaukee.  His latest book is Cutting the Dusk in Half by Bent Paddle Press.

ONLY CHILD

a haibun by Roberta Beary

For the past decade, Mu-Ming Poo, the director of the Institute of Neuroscience in Shanghai, has been on a quest to make monkeys that can be used to study human disease. Today, researchers in his institute announced a major milestone: the births of Zhongzhong and Huahua, the first two monkey clones created using the same technique behind Dolly the sheep. —The Atlantic, January 24, 2018. Photo released by China's Xinhua News Agency.

when I hear that scientists in China cloned identical monkeys, when I see twin monkey smiles spread across digital newsprint, I do not think of ethical issues or moral dilemmas, instead I recall my twin, how tightly his hand pulled mine into the asphalt jungle, swearing he would never let me go

midnight storm
a distant voice
calls my name

Roberta Beary is the haibun editor of Modern Haiku. She grew up in Jamaica Estates. As a child she often biked past the T***p family home and thought nothing of it. She lives in County Mayo, Ireland.

THE MONKEYS PUT US IN OUR PLACE

by Michael Mark

The latest rankings are out
Human beings are third in intelligence
Last in courage
But 43rd in good looks — an uptick due to an extinction
All agree and of course the humans most heartily support
We are keenest in imagination
Now if we can get our names off the endangered species list
But the monkeys say that we’re not smart enough
The lions say we’re not brave enough
The elephants say we’re not kind enough
The waters say we’re not strong enough


Michael Mark’s poetry has appeared or is forthcoming in Gargoyle Magazine, Paterson Literary Review, Poet Lore, Rattle, Spillway, The Sow’s Ear Poetry Review, Sugar House Review, Tar River Poetry, TheNewVerse.News and other nice places. His poetry has been nominated for three Pushcart Prizes and the 2015 Best of the Net.