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Tuesday, September 22, 2009


by Steve Hellyard Swartz

with apologies to John Greenleaf Whittier

Up from the suburbs of downloaded porn,
Irate on this cool September morn

The clustered squires of Fox News stand
Red-faced near the hills of Maryland.

Round about them Birthers sweep,
Nutty as fruitcakes and fruited deep;

Fair as their warden, their Overlord
Aye! Aye! croak the family-valued horde.

On this pleasant morn of early fall
Answering Rush and Sean's mutinous call:

Countless flags with their silver stars
Countless flags with their crimson bars,

Up rose young punk Barbie Frietchie then,
Unbowed, unmanned e'er the demise of Ken;

Bravest of all in DC town
She took up for the fags that Beck put down;

On her VW Golf the staff she set
To show that one was loyal yet.

On the ellipse the rebels tread
Michelle Bachman riding ahead.

Under her gaze glazed by Prozac and a tiny IQ
Bachman glanced at Barbie, mistook her for a Jew.

Halt! - the angry pale minions stood fast
Fire! - the NRA'ers loosed a blast.

Barbie leaned out her car after popping some pills
And shook forth her Pro-Choice banner with a royal will.

"Shoot, if you must, this young goth head,
But spare my Rainbow Coalition decal," she said.

A shade of madness, a blush of insane
Over the face of Michelle Bachman came.

The drugs kicked in, Bachman stirred
To a Pro-Life position at Barbie's words:

"Who touches a hair of yon skank's head
Earns a weekend in Myrtle Beach with Joe Wilson," she said.

All day long through the DC streets
Sounded the tread of Payless-shod marching feet;

All day long that OBAMA '08 flag tossed
O'er the Bic lighters of the rebel host.

Barbie Frietchie's work is o'er and done
The Bircher/Birther/Deathers had their fun.

Over Barbie Frietchie's grave
Flags of the AFL and SEFCU wave!

Peace and order and beauty, Hee Haw!
Crash thy cymbals, trample our laws!

And ever the liberal stars of Hollywood look down
On the stars in the gutters of DC town!

Steve Hellyard Swartz is Poet Laureate of Schenectady County in upstate NY. A regular contributor to New Verse News, Swartz has also been featured in Best Poem, switched-on gutenberg, and The Kennesaw Review. A two-time Honorable Mention in the Allen Ginsberg Poetry Awards, Swartz is also a filmmaker. Never Leave Nevada, which he wrote and directed and in which he co-starred, opened at The US Sundance Film Festival in 1990.