That it’s all right to mourn. Okay to take a day to grieve. Okay to take it slow,
to do some yoga, take a nap; you know last night you didn’t sleep, the writing
on the wall a tale of loss on loss writ with excruciating slowness, unrelenting speed.
I warn myself not to indulge in doom prescience, worrying each bead
of a litany of despoliations sure to come. Try not to guess how they’ll pervert
the name of freedom, desecrate “liberty,” have their nasty fun.
...women’s health and status racism xenophobia homophobia transphobia environmental waste bizarre quasi-scientific theories conspiracy book banning religious hegemony distasteful alliances impetuousness anti-intellectualism clannishness cronyism greed shitty “jokes” glorification of the mean spirited the sociopathic the stupid....
(I remind myself I was not going to do that. Tell myself it’s okay
to backslide, as long as I catch it). Caution myself: anger can spark,
but combust and turn to ashes.
Remind myself I can’t be so surprised; numbers show
what I already knew in my heart: we’re still a misogynistic,
racist nation in significant part. Remember that they feed
on negative attention; deny them that sustenance.
Command myself not to freeze in terror or wallow in despair;
not to always blunt feelings with self-soothing behavior.
I tell myself my job’s the same: to be present, kind, true to my values
and respectful of others’, to support those that champion such aims
and care for those who need. To uphold ideals, to interpret with empathy.
To try to put it into words. To remind myself of bright points, precious few
though they may be. I tell myself to write a poem take a walk talk with friends
spend moments with an animal or tree.
The only way is forward.
Eyes and mouth, heart and hands and feet.
Marjorie Tesser’s poetry and fiction have appeared in Molecule, Cutleaf, poets.org, SWWIM, and others. She is the author of two poetry chapbooks, The Important Thing Is, winner of the Firewheel Chapbook Award (Firewheel Editions 2010), and The Magic Feather (FLP 2011). She has co-edited three anthologies of poetry and prose, and is editor in chief of MER - Mom Egg Review.
