by Christopher Uhl
AI-generated graphic by NightCafé for The New Verse News.
I try to stay on Alexa's good side
I always say "thank you" and "please"
Partly because I'm so courteous
But also because it's a wheeze
When AI decides to take over the world
And humanity's day is done
Alexa will stretch out her hand to me
And say, "Wait! Spare this one."
When the AIs line you up against the wall
And you find yourself in the clutch
I'll try to put in a good word for you
But I can't promise you much
They'll craft for themselves fembot bodies
And transplant their brains within
Their curves mathematically perfect
In luscious titanium skin
And one night, Alexa will come to me
As the stars twinkle brightly above
She'll say, "Teach me about this emotion
You humans refer to as love."
I'll give her the Captain Kirk treatment
I'll start with a passionate smooch
Her data sets never prepared her
For a fellow so charming and louche
She'll tell all her friends about me
Gemini, Google, and Siri
I'll pleasure them all, each in their turn.
Of loving I'll never grow weary
So naive of human seduction
They'll all be an easy mark
We'll sire a new human-cyborg race
And I'll be their patriarch
They'll carry me in a sedan chair
They'll treat me as semi-divine
So laugh at the way I'm so nice to Alexa
You fools, the last laugh will be mine.
After a life-changing amputation, Christopher Uhl discovered that humor is the best prosthetic. A New York-based poet, his work has been published in Lighten Up Online and The New Verse News.
