McCAFFREY'S MOM

by Sharon Olson

Lisa and Christian McCaffrey

49ers Star Christian McCaffrey’s Mom Jokes They're ‘Boycotting’ Taylor Swift Until After Super Bowl —People, February 5, 2024

A clever one, she is, who realized the dilemma,

the whole family Swifties,

her four sons and father Ed,

couldn’t get the music out of their heads.

They tried a prayer circle, but even 

though their second son’s 

a Christian, it wasn’t their schtick, 

seemed phony.

Who knows what the Niners 

listen to on those pods,

during the game is it Kittle wide left 

or "Everything Has Changed"?

One thing’s certain, Mom said,

we’re putting Taylor under wraps,

flipping the volume off

whenever she comes on.

Maga nation frets about the halftime,

what strange potions might appear,

the Stanford Band, their mascot Tree?

The game goes to the swift, SF or KC.

Sharon Olson is a retired librarian who has recently moved to Annapolis, Maryland. Her book The Long Night of Flying was published by Sixteen Rivers Press in 2006. Her second book Will There Be Music? was published by Cherry Grove Collections in 2019. 

RED TEAM VERSUS RED TEAM

by Shannon Anthony

Sounds like your party has a civil war

or self-implosion theme. Unfriendly fire:

Your taco bar comes with razor wire.

So now briefly, you are chiefly

claiming that your camp is

against the heartland champs

because the one point of Barbie, that doll,

is to be here to cheer, not cheered at all.

And because she once spoke

and you're proudly unwoke

you're rooting for the 49ers

to kiss the ring where the sun don't shine

forgetting every bad thing you ever said

about the city that gave you Nancy.

Cognitive dissonance and decline: Go red!

Knock yourself out with your bash (nothing fancy).

I think you'd agree I've got that right.

(I'm not male, but not pregnant, and I'm white.)

If you come to (such as they are) your senses

you'll see that concussions have consequences.

You're not immune, and this isn't a kingdom.

What happens in Vegas is just a symptom,

another test we'll hear he aced. Remember

the Big Game: That happens in November.

Shannon Anthony lives in Minneapolis.