THE EXORCIST

by Frank Conahan

 

 

The Archbishop of
Washington DC removed 
The senior priest who

Has been the diocesan
Exorcist for the 
Last nearly twenty years

After the latter 
Said that Unidentified 
Flying Objects were 

Demons. Actually, one would 
Think that Monsignor
Rossetti would be in a

Good position to
Make such an assessment,
Although it is the

Twenty first century and
There are no such things
Actually as UFOs.

 

 

 

 

Dr. Frank Conahan lives in reclusive retirement outside of Baltimore, Maryland. He follows current events with trepidation and copes by writing verse. He has recently published poems with "Bards of Maryland." His collection Nothing Is Coming was published in April. 

NOMENCLATURE

by Frank Conahan

Art by Michael Kline

I read today that

The disease formerly known 

As "Polycystic

"Ovary syndrome," (or as

POCS), was

Renamed "Polyendocrine

Ovary syndrome,"

(Or as POMS). The

New name, which is more

"Accurate," according to

The article, ought

To bolster research because,

Presumably, if

You call things by the right name, 

They'll yield to you.

I'm supportive but wonder

If calling things the

Right name really helps any.

Our problem doesn't 

Seem to be what we call things

As much as what we

Do with the stuff afterwards;

Guns, for example,

Or other people's secrets.

But this is research. 

Surely we know how to use

Language in science…

Dr. Frank Conahan lives in reclusive retirement outside of Baltimore, Maryland. He follows current events with trepidation and copes by writing verse. He has recently published poems with "Bards of Maryland." His collection Nothing Is Coming was published in April.

VERONIKA

by Frank Conahan

Scientists have been forced to rethink the intelligence of cattle after an Austrian cow named Veronika displayed an impressive—and until now undocumented—knack for tool use. Photo: Veronika scratching her back with a stick. Photographer: Antonio J Osuna Mascaró —The Guardian, January 19, 2026

I was reading that

A cow in Austria is

Using a stick to

Scratch various parts of her

Body. She holds it

Differently in her mouth to

Reach her itchy parts. 

This is news because she's not

A chimp. They do stuff

Like this all the time, it seems. 

Animals who have

Intelligence of different 

Degrees use tools with

Different sophistication. 

Dogs and cats play with

Toys, slippers, sticks, and corpses.

Ravens manipulate

Stones. Chimps employ weaponry.

Why are we surprised?

Intelligent animals 

Use tools, look at us.

We're practically destroying 

The planet with ours.

(Intelligence is... complex.)

I hope the cow is

Enjoying celebrity.

She could be dinner soon.

Frank Conahan lives in reclusive retirement outside of Baltimore, Maryland. He follows current events with trepidation and copes by writing verse. He has recently published poems with Bards of Maryland. His collection Nothing Is Coming will be published this spring.