WHEN I DIE I WANT TO BE A CAPITAL "S" SAINT

by Elise Kazanjian

just like Carlo Acutis, the first millennial

saint, appointed by Pope Leo XIV.

There may be a problem. He was

fifteen. I’m 90. One of the last saintly

nonagenarians was St. Anthony 

The Great, 3rd century.

 

Rev. Anthony Gerber in St. Louis

explains there are capital ‘S’ saints 

and lowercase ‘s’ saints in heaven. 

Carlo is a capital ‘S’ 

pronounced infallibly

in heaven by the Catholic Church. 

 

Until my demise I hope to

follow Carlo’s example to insure I

too not only get into heaven, but am a 

big ‘S’ saint. And it will be taxing—

he observed a no-nonsense daily

life, a hard act to follow.

 

Carlo Attended Daily Mass—

I confess I go to the Armenian Church 

mostly on high holidays

like Easter to enjoy

sumptuous delights, ie,

Khourabia, a cookie that melts

in my mouth.   

 

Carlo Converted His peers/friends—

Most of my peers/friends 

seem happy in what they believe, 

and do not believe.

I would be remiss trying to change

them, and probably would acquire

a guilt complex which I don’t need.

 

Carlo Launched a Website Cataloguing Miracles—

I have trouble just with basic computer knowledge 

let alone miracles. I break out in a sweat 

when texting, sending photos, 

or emailing big corporations 

slamming them for their slimy

practices in charging outrageous fees.

Carlo Is Known as “God’s Influencer”—

Frankly, I would prefer 

being a Social Media Influencer 

like Masoom Minawalu

who promotes women’s rights, 

and empowers people of India 

to succeed in their individual endeavors.

 

Carlo’s Body Rests In A Glass Fronted Tomb—

The faithful come to pay their respects to this

young saint. I assume I have another ten years.

At 100, my body will not be that great

to look at. I will choose another burial

practice. Meanwhile, I’ll say a prayer to Carlo,

and hope that someday I can join him as a big ‘S’ saint.

A San Francisco poet, Elise Kazanjian's work has appeared in the 2025 Marin Poetry Center Anthology, Season Lightly With Salt, Our California, Vistas & Byways, the San Francisco Chronicle, among others. She has worked at Sunset Magazine, as Foreign Editor, CCTV, Beijing, China, and as a San Francisco pawnbroker.

UNAUTHORIZED VERSION

by Julie Steiner

“Choir Boys 2” by Christina Clare

• Charles Spencer says he was sexually and physically abused at elite boy’s boarding school (The Independent, March 12, 2024)

• Former Mormon bishop highlighted in AP investigation arrested on felony child sex abuse charges (AP, March 13,  2024)

• Nearly 500 victims of church sex abuse in France have received financial compensation (AP, March 14, 2024)

• Quiet on Set Uncovers Abuse Allegations at Nickelodeon, Raises Deeper Issues (Vanity Fair, March 14, 2024)

• Middlesex County jury awards $25 million in 'horrific' foster child sexual abuse case (MyCentralJersey.com, March 15, 2024)

• Victims of Catholic nuns rely on each other after being overlooked in the clergy sex abuse crisis (AP, March 16, 2024)

“There is no sorrow, pain, or woe…
no suffering He did not know,”
we used to sing. That’s how I knew
the Christ Child was molested, too.

Confused, afraid, and mortified,
He told His mom—who said He lied.
Since mine refused to understand,
I knew He’d known that, too, firsthand.

Each time He said or acted out
what children shouldn’t know about,
she spanked the young Emmanuel
and told Him He was bound for Hell.

That filthy-minded, foul-mouthed kid
reformed, because of what she did.
For decades, she’d congratulate
herself for having laced Him strait.

“I disciplined Him out of it,”
that saint would brag, while He’d just sit—
impassive, passive—and endure
her calling clobbering a cure.

(What “cured” us was we’d moved away
from those who’d made us frequent prey
on seeing no one took our word
for anything we said occurred.)

The current lyrics for that hymn
leave nothing fuzzy, nothing dim,
and nothing to be taken wrong
by snarky teens, who’d say the song

skipped birth pangs, menstrual cramps, and such.
But how I’d sung it was as much
support as victims might derive
back then, for having dared survive.

Let others sing the new, improved,
and ambiguity-removed
text. I can’t. I can’t unknow
the words I needed, long ago.

Julie Steiner is a pseudonym in San Diego, California. Besides The New Verse News, the venues in which Julie's poetry has appeared include the Able Muse Review, Rattle, Light, and The Asses of Parnassus.

THE UNSPEAKABLE

by Sister Lou Ella

Dianna Ortiz, an American Roman Catholic nun whose rape and torture in Guatemala in 1989 helped lead to the release of documents showing American involvement in human rights abuses in that country, died on Friday in hospice care in Washington. She was 62. —The New York Times, February 20, 2021. PHOTO: Sister Dianna Ortiz in 1996. After being raped and tortured in Guatemala, she helped focus attention on the 200,000 people who were killed or disappeared during that country’s 36-year civil war. Credit: Stephen Crowley/The New York Times

           in memory of sr. dianna ortiz, osu

                         rape and torture victim

“I’m not sure what it means to forgive.”

friday after ash wednesday

2/19/2021

 

the death certificate read cancer

but i know better

the unspeakable terror

that tortured your flesh years ago

has finally had its way with you

then and then daily the Holy in your body

screamed why have you forsaken me

perhaps you are the saint of the struggle

that wrestling with the command to forgive

but the Holy will also have Its way

It too Unspeakable

Sister Lou Ella has a master’s in theology from St. Mary’s University in San Antonio and is a former teacher and librarian. She is a certified spiritual director as well as a poet and writer.  Her poems have appeared in numerous magazines such as America, First Things, Emmanuel, Third Wednesday, and The New Verse News as well as in four anthologies: The Night’s Magician: Poems about the Moon, edited by Philip Kolin and Sue Brannan Walker, Down to the Dark River edited by Philip Kolin, Secrets edited by Sue Brannan Walker and After Shocks: The Poetry of Recovery for Life-Shattering Events edited by Tom Lombardo.  She was nominated for the Pushcart Prize in 2017 and in 2020. Her first book of poetry entitled she: robed and wordless was published in 2015. (Press 53.)