LETTUCE REJOICE! (THE PATRIOTIC CYCLOSPORA CAYETANENSIS)

by Zumwalt

AI-generated graphic by NightCafé for The New Verse News.

Trump’s CDC Stopped Monitoring Explosive Diarrhea Parasite Before Outbreak —Newsweek, July 10, 2026

It's a big win, a big win, so cue the parade—

Inflation is beaten! Our Fed target's made!

So how did we do it? Well, funny you ask—
We fired all the folks doing food-safety tasks.

No agency checking for bugs in your greens.
No budget for knowing what "parasite" means.
Sixteen percent cheaper—a triumph, a feat!
Who cares if there's germs in the lettuce you eat?

So cheers to the savings—we know you're all glad,

Even Taco Bell's prices have come down a tad.
You can now eat much cheaper than you did in the past

But please note, due to gastrointestinal side effects, 

                     you may choose to fast.

Zumwalt’s poetry examines the intersection of identity, instability, and the mechanics of perception. Recent work is currently appearing in The New Verse News.

AT TACO BELL

by Buff Whitman-Bradley

on Earth Day 2023

Art by Yinza

At Taco Bell

I watch a crow

Reconnoiter the parking lot

For scraps and morsels

Of sustenance.

With it’s dagger-like

Sleek black beak

It flips over

Discarded take-out cartons,

Pokes into empty soda cups,

Snaps up torn bits

Of tortillas,

All without surrendering

A shred of its natural dignity.

As it struts defiantly,

Like a corvid Napoleon,

In front of oncoming cars,

Its spine remains perfectly straight,

Its head held high,

Its bearing proud.

“Get me a burrito,”

The crow orders.

“Hot sauce?” I ask.

“Get me a root beer,”

The crow commands.

“Small, medium, or large?”

I inquire.

Here is a bird

Of natural authority,

A bird with no self-doubt,

A bird who was born 

To take charge.

You’d think with all 

These leadership qualities

Crows might have an interest

In running for public office, but

Too smart to be Republicans,

Too forthright 

To be Democrats,

Crows are dyed-in-the-quills anarchists

Who believe that no crow

Is better than any other crow,

And that no government is better

Than no government.

Buff Whitman-Bradley’s poems have been widely published in print and online journals.  His latest book is And What Will We Sing? (Kelsay Books). He podcasts at thirdactpoems.podbean.com and lives in northern California with his wife, Cynthia.

DRIVEN THRU

by Deirdre Fagan

When you are 13 and poor,
even Taco Bell has an allure.

The Monte Carlo that held us

had a sheepskin bench seat.


Its soft cover like a fitted sheet
curving its corners like a cloud.

Seatbelts weren’t worn in 1983;

no need for slits to let safety peer in.



“Come closer and you can steer,” you said.


Nearly half my current size, no breasts,
thighs the width of my current calves—

I leaned full-bodied into the drive

eyes on the road, mouth watering,

drive-thru beckoning.

(What is there to taking a young girl?)

Deirdre Fagan is a widow, wife, and mother of two who has published poetry, fiction, and nonfiction in Amaryllis, Eunoia Review, and Poetry Breakfast, among others.  She is also the author of Critical Companion to Robert Frost and has published a number of critical essays. Fagan teaches literature and writing at Ferris State University where she is also the Coordinator of Creative Writing.